Ban the Mass Noun Nickname!

The Sharks defeated the Colorado Avalanche tonight 5-3. No, it wasn't 11-0, but I'll take it.

I love beating Colorado. Not only are they another one of those teams stolen from their proper home, but they have a horrible mass noun for a nickname.

A few weeks ago I was in Madison for my girlfriend's brother's wedding. I had the opportunity to get to know a friend of the bride & groom who happens to despise mass noun team nicknames as much as I do. It was instant brotherhood. (Also, I give him credit for suggesting the term "mass noun nickname", which concisely and perfectly describes what I'm railing against.)

Avalanche. Lightning. Wild. Thunder. Heat. Magic. They're all awful. I'm pretty sure you can draw a correlation between how seriously (or not) a professional sports league is taken and the number of mass nouns employed as team nicknames. Why is the NFL the most successful league in the world? Because of good, honest nicknames like Steelers and Packers and Vikings. Why is MLS on the fringe? Because of the Columbus Crew, Los Angeles Galaxy, and Houston Dynamo, that's why!

(I'm willing to give a pass to the Alabama Crimson Tide due to the tremendous history associated with the University of Alabama's athletic programs, and the fact that "Roll Tide!" is a cool cheer. But that's the only concession I'm willing to make.)

Perhaps what's needed is a grassroots movement to rename the Avalanche, Lightning, and Wild. Heck, I can't see any reason the Minnesota team can't be named the Minnesota North Stars...if the AHL can have two teams named the Admirals, the NHL can have a North Stars and a Stars. Better yet, rename the Dallas team something else. (At the moment, it's hard not to suggest Sieves. Tee-hee.)

Speaking of the North St--err, Wild, the Sharks play host to them on Tuesday. Like San Jose, Minnesota is off to a great start. Should be a heck of a collision.